i learned today that everything is out of my control
and not just heard it,
but i cant spend all my time thinking about the ways that things go wrong
you cant plan for wrong
i cant spend so much energy wondering if im good enough because things rot and wither away and the game changes
soon enough the game im studying the rules of so intently won't exist
and the human race will move past this
and i cant still be wondering if im good enough to make an amendment to a set of rules thats been overwritten while im still watching the written line of a quiet chat and an outdated irrelevant version of time
i live in the now but my mind lags behind wondering what went wrong and why and how
and while i stare at the structure, the building's construction and filling and polish
without me the building will have been demolished
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